You care?

you didn't care about me
I was out of your mind
they say we shouldn't be resentful and yet I don't want you
you did you then let me do me now
why my conscience is so damning
I can't acquire that knowledge today
wishing for a different yesterday 
that's not fair but what if I don't wanna be
turning the other cheek must have it's benefits
can't see
not blind 
lacking wisdom
but now I see
why did I ask?
what good does it do me to now see?
fools rush in but who comes out
tears drown me within cause I vow to not shed
overflow makes me scream deep inside
how do I return to sanity
where is my next wrong turn
can I want my freedom?
will he show me what I need?
cause he has it
cursed myself and I know it
can I be saved again and again
easy roads tempt me
and yet I deter others
shame shame shame
good morning but I'm not ready to begin
days when I begin with tears are bound to be a failure of some sort
can't you see
no I know you can't see me
sad again 
but I wish I could kill this sadness with one shot directly from my heart
don't want pain 
but gosh, I guess I need it to grow
there must be some other way
can't there be
where is my answer?
still striving for more
but what is what more
seeing the stickiness of my web 
no answers readily come 
delayed and delusional 
I remain 
I can't but my God can